The Scariest Divorce Mistakes People Make

It is the end of October. The season when things that seemed harmless turn out to be genuinely terrifying.

In that spirit, here are the divorce mistakes that keep me, Bill Jones, up at night on my clients’ behalf. Not the dramatic ones. The ordinary ones. The decisions that seem reasonable in the moment and reveal themselves as disasters later.

Signing Something You Did Not Read

Settlement agreements are contracts. Marital dissolution agreements are enforceable. Parenting plans are court orders. These documents govern significant aspects of your life for years.

I have had clients come to me after the fact with signed agreements that they did not understand, did not negotiate, and cannot now undo without expensive litigation. The time to read it carefully and ask questions is before you sign it. Not after.

(I know, I know — you just wanted it to be over. But “over” lasts a long time.)

Making Financial Decisions Based on Emotion

Fighting to keep an asset that costs more than it is worth. Refusing to accept a settlement because you are angry, not because the offer is bad. Trading real financial value for the satisfaction of making the other side work harder.

Divorce is emotional. Financial decisions made in an emotional state are frequently bad ones. I tell clients to run the numbers, not their feelings. The asset that feels important today may look different in two years.

Violating the Restraining Order You Did Not Know Existed

When a divorce complaint is filed in Tennessee, certain automatic temporary restraining orders go into effect. These typically prohibit both parties from disposing of, encumbering, or hiding marital assets, changing beneficiary designations, and removing children from the jurisdiction.

People violate these orders accidentally because nobody told them they existed. Your attorney should tell you. Make sure they do.

Assuming the Kids Are Fine

Children observe and absorb everything. They do not always say so. A child who seems unaffected by the divorce is not necessarily unaffected. They may simply be managing alone.

The research on children and divorce is clear: parental conflict is more damaging than the divorce itself. Protect your children from the conflict. Get them support if they need it. Do not use them as messengers, sounding boards, or evidence gatherers.

Lawyer Bill’s Advice

The scariest divorce mistakes are not the dramatic ones.

They are the quiet ones. The forms signed without reading. The assets hidden badly. The children put in the middle.

Most of these are preventable.

Get a good attorney. Read what you sign. Keep the kids out of it.

The rest is manageable.

If you have questions, reach out at midsouthdivorce.com/ask-lawyer-bill/.

About the Author: William W. Jones IV is a Memphis family law attorney, Rule 31 Listed Family Mediator, and Super Lawyers selectee every consecutive year from 2014 through 2026. Licensed in Tennessee (BPR 022869) and Mississippi (BPR 100707), he practices at The Jones Law Firm, 5100 Poplar Ave, Suite 708, Memphis, TN 38137. Call (901) 761-5353 or visit midsouthdivorce.com.

More on this: What to Do Before You File, from The Mid-South Divorce Guide, a complimentary guide to divorce in Tennessee and Mississippi.