Let’s be clear: a Parenting Plan isn’t a suggestion—it’s a court order. And in Tennessee, when someone flat-out ignores it, the judge has options. Real ones. The kind that come with consequences.

So if your ex has started freelancing the schedule, skipping pickups, or thinking “court-ordered” means “optional,” it may be time to act.

Step 1: Document Everything

Start keeping track of what’s happening:

• Missed or late exchanges
• Denied visits or calls
• Attempts to make you look like the bad guy in front of the kids
• Texts, emails, or social posts that show what’s really going on

You don’t need to turn into a private investigator, but you do need a paper trail. Judges work off facts, not feelings.

Step 2: Consider Filing for Contempt

If the violations are more than a one-off or clearly intentional, you can file a Petition for Civil Contempt. That tells the court: “Hey, they’re ignoring your order.” And the court can:

• Fine them
• Order makeup parenting time
• Award attorney’s fees
• Or even send them to jail in extreme cases

Now, do judges throw people in jail over a missed exchange? Not usually. But when it’s clear the person understood the rules and just decided not to follow them—that’s when the hammer starts to drop.

Here’s how I explain it to clients:

“If you walked by your kid’s room and told them to clean it, and five minutes later they were still sitting down, you’d warn them. If you came back again and they still hadn’t moved, now there’s consequences. But if the first time you told them to clean and they flipped you off and cussed you out, the punishment is immediate. Judges are the same way. If it’s just a slip-up, they might give a pass. But defiance? That’s not just a slap on the wrist.”

Step 3: When It’s More Than Just One Issue

Sometimes it’s not just a missed visit—it’s a pattern. They’re not paying child support, they’re refusing to communicate, they’re putting their new partner in the middle. In those cases, you might not just need enforcement—you might need a modification of the plan.

If the other parent is no longer acting in the child’s best interest, the court can revise the Parenting Plan to reflect reality.

Step 4: What the Court Wants to See

Judges don’t want to referee every parenting squabble. They’re looking for:

• A clear pattern of violations
• Proof you tried to resolve the issue reasonably
• Evidence that the child’s well-being is being impacted

This isn’t about revenge—it’s about results. And when you bring clean, organized evidence to court, judges notice.

Bottom Line

Parenting Plans are enforceable. They’re not guidelines. If your ex is counting on you not following through, that’s their bet—not your burden.

You don’t need to come in swinging. Just come in prepared.