Divorce does something to your head. I call it cocaine brain because it makes smart people say things that don’t line up, don’t add up, and don’t make sense anywhere outside the fog of a breakup.

The Greatest Hits of Divorce-Speak

• “I love her, but I can’t be with her.” Imagine saying this about a house or a car. If you loved it, you would keep it. Divorce rewires logic until it feels normal to say things that would never fly in any other situation.
• “I don’t want him, but I don’t want anyone else to have him.” That is not love. That is the same thing my grandkid says about the last piece of pizza she is not even hungry for.
• “They don’t care about the kids, they are just using them as leverage.” Most parents care deeply, but when anger is running the show we convince ourselves the other side is pure villain.
• “I don’t care what I will lose, I just want it over.” This one is dangerous. Sometimes the other side drags things out hoping you will throw up your hands and say just that. Your lawyer’s job is to keep you from making a short-term emotional decision that will cost you long-term.

These are the kinds of thoughts that feel perfectly justified in the moment, but if you step back they sound like the ramblings of someone who has had too much caffeine and no sleep.

Why It Happens

The science backs it up. Falling in love floods your brain with dopamine and oxytocin. Splitting up yanks those circuits around until your logic is as scrambled as a radio between stations. Divorce is not just a legal process, it is a chemical storm.

How to Keep Yourself in Check

You cannot stop the emotional flood, but you can build guardrails. Pick one or two trusted friends who will call you out if you start slipping into cocaine brain decisions. And I do not mean your jaded buddy who had a three-year divorce and is still bitter. I mean people who care about you enough to keep you grounded and honest. The kind who will look you in the eye and say, “That’s stupid. Don’t do it.”

Lawyer Bill’s Advice

If you catch yourself spouting contradictions that would not make sense outside a bad country song, take a pause. Do not act on it, do not email it, and for the love of your case, do not post it on Facebook. This is cocaine brain talking. Let it pass before you make decisions that outlast the storm.