I hear it in almost every consult: “I just want what’s fair.” The problem is, court isn’t built on fair. Court is built on statutes, rules, and judges making decisions inside those guardrails.

The Myth of Fair

Fair to you might mean splitting everything 50/50, or getting the kids on every holiday, or never paying another dime to your ex. Fair to the other side looks completely different. The judge doesn’t care about either version of “fair.” They care about applying the law to the facts.

What the Law Actually Looks At

• Property: Tennessee uses “equitable distribution.” That means property and debts are divided in a way the court believes is fair, but fair doesn’t always mean equal.
• Parenting: Custody isn’t about what’s fair to mom or dad. It’s about what’s in the best interests of the child. That may mean more days with one parent, less with another, or something in between.
• Support: Child support is based on an income formula, not on who is “more deserving.” Alimony depends on need and ability to pay, not who “deserves” payback.

Why Fair Is Dangerous

If you walk into divorce court expecting fairness to match your definition, you’re setting yourself up for frustration. Clients who cling to that idea of fairness spend more money fighting battles they can’t win.

A Better Approach

Stop chasing “fair” and start focusing on strategy. Ask:

• What can I realistically expect under Tennessee law?
• What are the odds of winning this issue if we push it to trial?
• What would a negotiated compromise save me in time, stress, and money?

Lawyer Bill’s Advice

The fair is where they put ribbons on pigs. Divorce court is where judges apply the law to imperfect facts and real people. If you stop expecting fair, and start planning for possible, you will be better prepared, less frustrated, and more likely to walk out with a result you can live with.