Last week, I told you the fair is where they put ribbons on pigs. Court is not about your version of fair or your ex’s version of fair — it is about how the law applies to your facts.

So let’s clear this up. If court isn’t about “fair,” then what does it mean to fight fair in a divorce?

Fighting Dirty Never Pays Off

You already know what dirty looks like:

• Posting about your ex on Facebook.
• Using your kids as messengers.
• Dragging relatives into mediation as backup singers.
• Running up legal fees as punishment.

It feels satisfying in the moment, but judges see right through it. Dirty tactics don’t get you a ribbon. They get you side-eye from the court and extra bills from your lawyer.

Fighting Fair, the Right Way

Fighting fair means staying inside the rules while still protecting yourself. It looks like this:

• Stick to the issues. Property, custody, support — not old fights from 2007.
• Keep it clean. Turn over documents promptly and truthfully.
• Respect boundaries. Keep your kids out of adult business.
• Stay off the soapbox. Judges don’t want to read Facebook screenshots in your case file.

Why It Works

Judges may not hand out ribbons, but they notice who shows up with respect for the process. More than once, I’ve seen a parent gain credibility simply by staying calm and cooperative while the other side lost it in open court.

Lawyer Bill’s Advice

Divorce is not about fair in the way you picture it. But you can still fight fair — and that is the kind of fair that pays off. Stay focused, keep it clean, and let your lawyer do the heavy lifting. The fair is where they put ribbons on pigs, but in court, you earn respect by showing you can fight without rolling in the mud.

About the Author: William W. Jones IV is a Memphis family law attorney, Rule 31 Listed Family Mediator, and Super Lawyers selectee every consecutive year from 2014 through 2025. Licensed in Tennessee (BPR 022869) and Mississippi (BPR 100707), he practices at The Jones Law Firm, 5100 Poplar Ave, Suite 708, Memphis, TN 38137. Call (901) 761-5353 or visit midsouthdivorce.com.