She called me the day after the second date. Not to tell me about the restaurant. To ask whether she had just made a legal mistake.

“It’s been six months. We’re separated. He’s already seeing someone. Is this going to be a problem?”

I get this question more than you might expect. Usually somewhere around the sixty or ninety day waiting period, when people have emotionally moved on even if the paperwork has not caught up.

The question is: can I date while my divorce is pending?

The legal answer is: probably yes, but carefully.

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Fault Grounds and Adultery

If you are using irreconcilable differences as your ground, and most Tennessee divorces do, a new relationship during the pendency is generally not a legal problem in itself.

If your spouse has filed on fault grounds, or intends to, and specifically alleges adultery, the analysis changes. Tennessee still recognizes adultery as a fault ground for divorce under T.C.A. § 36-4-101. And adultery in Tennessee does not require the marriage to have technically ended before the relationship began.

If you are not sure which path your case is on, ask your attorney before you post anything on Hinge.

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The Custody Angle

Even in cases where fault is not an issue, introducing a new partner into your children’s lives during the divorce creates risk. Courts evaluating custody look at stability, judgment, and the parent’s ability to put the child’s needs above their own.

Introducing children to a new partner before the ink is dry on the decree is the kind of thing that gets raised in court. It does not always hurt. But it can. Especially if the relationship is volatile, the partner has a history that the other parent can document, or the children are showing signs of distress.

Judges in Shelby County have seen it all. They notice.

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The Practical Advice

You are a grown adult and I am not your parent. You get to make your own choices about your personal life. What I am telling you is that those choices have a context right now, and that context is a legal proceeding where your judgment is being evaluated.

Wait until the decree is final if you can. If you cannot wait, keep it away from the children until the case is closed and things have settled. And keep it off social media entirely.

Lawyer Bill’s Advice

The divorce is not final until it is final.

What you do in the meantime is your business, legally.

But courts watch. The other attorney watches. And children notice things parents think they are hiding.

Be patient. There is time for everything.

Just maybe not all at once.

If you have questions, reach out at midsouthdivorce.com/ask-lawyer-bill/.

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About the Author: William W. Jones IV is a Memphis family law attorney, Rule 31 Listed Family Mediator, and Super Lawyers selectee every consecutive year from 2014 through 2026. Licensed in Tennessee (BPR 022869) and Mississippi (BPR 100707), he practices at The Jones Law Firm, 5100 Poplar Ave, Suite 708, Memphis, TN 38137. Call (901) 761-5353 or visit midsouthdivorce.com.

More on this: After the Divorce, from The Mid-South Divorce Guide, a complimentary guide to divorce in Tennessee and Mississippi.