What to Expect in Family Mediation
You’ve been told you need to mediate. Maybe the court ordered it. Maybe your lawyer suggested it. Either way, you’re probably wondering what you’re walking into.
I’m William W. Jones IV. I’ve been practicing family law in Memphis for over twenty years, and I’ve sat on both sides of the mediation table — as an attorney advocating for clients and as the neutral in the room. This page is here to answer the questions I hear most often.
What Mediation Actually Is
Mediation is a structured conversation. You and the other parent sit down with a neutral third party and work through the issues in your case. Custody. Parenting time. Division of property. Whatever needs deciding.
The key difference from court: you decide. Not a judge. Not me. You.
I don’t pick winners. I don’t tell you what to do. My job is to help you communicate, identify what matters most, and find solutions that work for your family. Tennessee courts use mediation because agreements parents create together tend to stick better than orders handed down from the bench.
Why Mediation Works
Think about how a case normally runs. Your attorney is paid to see things through your eyes. The other attorney is paid to see things through theirs. That’s how advocacy works, but it creates blind spots on both sides. The mediator is paid by both parties, which is why we’re neutral. Even if we don’t reach a settlement, mediation helps everyone see what they’ve been missing.
There’s also the matter of time. Outside of mediation, a single settlement offer has to be drafted, sent, reviewed, discussed, countered, and returned. With court dates, case demands, and the ordinary pace of life, days can pass between each step. In mediation, everybody is across the hall from each other. An answer is only a few steps and a few minutes away.
My Role as the Mediator
Let me be clear about what I do and don’t do.
I do:
Stay neutral. I’m not on anyone’s side. I help you talk through hard issues without it turning into a fight. I keep the conversation focused and productive. I make sure both of you have a chance to be heard. I help you think through options you might not have considered.
I don’t:
Give legal advice. That’s your lawyer’s job. I don’t decide who’s right or wrong. I don’t force you into any agreement. I don’t tell the court what was said. Mediation is confidential.
When we’re done, I file a one-page report with the court. It says whether we reached an agreement or not. That’s it. No details. No “he said, she said.” What happens in mediation stays in mediation.
How a Session Works
Most mediations start with everyone in the same room. If you’re represented by an attorney, they’ll be there with you. That’s standard practice here in Shelby County.
I’ll explain the ground rules, then each side gets a chance to lay out their perspective. No interruptions.
From there, we might keep talking together, or I might meet with each side separately. These private conversations (called caucuses) let you say things you might not want to say in front of the other parent. They also let me reality-test ideas before bringing them back to the table.
Plan on four to eight hours. Complex cases sometimes need more than one session, but most matters can be worked through in a day. My rate is $250 per hour, split equally between the parties unless you agree otherwise.
How to Prepare
Know your priorities. Not just what you want, but why you want it. “I want the kids every other weekend” is a position. “I want to stay involved in their daily lives” is an interest. We can work with interests.
Gather your information. Income, expenses, debts, assets. School schedules, extracurricular activities, medical needs. The more you know, the better decisions you can make.
Think about the kids. What do they need? What’s their routine? What matters to them? The court cares about the children’s best interests, and so should you. If you’re working through custody or parenting plan issues, this is where the real work happens.
Come ready to listen. You’ll have your say. But mediation only works if you’re also willing to hear the other side. You don’t have to agree with them. You do have to understand what they’re asking for.
Common Questions
Who pays for mediation?
You split my fee equally unless you agree otherwise. My rate is $250 per hour.
What if we can’t agree?
Then we don’t agree. You still have the right to go before a judge. Mediation is voluntary. I can’t make you settle, and neither can the court.
Is it really confidential?
Yes. By rule and by law. I can’t be called as a witness about what was said. The only thing I report is whether you reached agreement.
Do I need to bring my lawyer?
If you have one, yes. In Shelby County, attorneys attend when their clients are represented. If you’re not represented, you can still mediate, but I’d encourage you to have an attorney review any agreement before you sign.
What if there’s been domestic violence?
Tell me before we start. Mediation isn’t appropriate in every case, and if we do proceed, there are ways to structure the process to keep everyone safe. Your safety comes first.
About My Mediation Practice
I’m a Rule 31 Listed Family Mediator designated by the Tennessee Supreme Court Alternative Dispute Resolution Commission, approved to mediate family law matters in Shelby, Fayette, and Tipton Counties. I’ve been recognized by Super Lawyers every consecutive year from 2014 through 2025, and I bring the same preparation to mediation that I bring to my litigation practice at The Jones Law Firm in Memphis.
For more information about mediation in Tennessee, these official resources may help:
- Parent’s Guide to Mediation (Tennessee Courts)
- Frequently Asked Questions (Tennessee Courts)
- View my official listing (Tennessee Supreme Court ADR Commission)
Ready to Schedule?
If you’ve been referred to me for mediation, or if you’d like to discuss whether mediation is right for your situation, contact my office to set up a time.