Parenting during the holidays is tricky enough without divorce in the mix. So in the spirit of the season, here are twelve practical tips to keep Christmas about joy instead of chaos.

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1. A schedule set in writing clearly.

Do not rely on “we’ll just work it out.” Text or email it.

2. Two parents flexing.

Weather, traffic, or late dinners happen. Roll with it.

3. Three calm exchanges.

Pick-ups and drop-offs don’t need to feel like a hostage swap.

4. Four polite texts.

Short, simple, and respectful. Your kids may see them one day.

5. Five minutes’ grace.

Running late happens. A little patience goes a long way.

6. Six gifts coordinated.

Talk ahead of time so the kids don’t get duplicates or competing “big” gifts.

7. Seven kids not shuttled.

Do not drag your child back and forth all day. Christmas isn’t a relay race.

8. Eight in-laws waiting.

Coordinate extended family time so kids aren’t stretched too thin.

9. Nine travel updates.

If you’re on the road, keep the other parent in the loop.

10. Ten minutes’ patience.

Court orders aside, kindness in the moment earns more for your kids than stubbornness ever will.

11. Eleven moments joyful.

Focus on creating memories, not keeping score.

12. Twelve memories lasting.

At the end of the day, your kids won’t remember the minute-by-minute schedule. They’ll remember how Christmas felt.

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Lawyer Bill’s Advice

Divorce doesn’t cancel Christmas. A little planning and a little grace can turn a stressful holiday into one your kids will look back on with joy. That’s the win you should be chasing.