Fathers, Courts, and What the Law Actually Says
Every June, right around Father’s Day, I get a version of the same call.
A father who believes the court system is set against him. Who has heard from someone at work or a buddy at the gym that judges always favor mothers. Who has already half-convinced himself that fighting for meaningful time with his kids is a losing proposition.
Sometimes the caller is angry. Sometimes he is resigned. Sometimes he has already given up before the case started, which is the version that frustrates me most.
I understand where that feeling comes from. And I want to give you an honest answer, because that is more useful than telling you what you want to hear.
What Tennessee Law Actually Says
Tennessee law does not favor mothers. It says so explicitly. T.C.A. § 36-6-101 states that custody shall be determined without regard to the sex of the parent. That is not aspirational language. It is the law.
The standard is the best interest of the child. The court looks at a list of factors under T.C.A. § 36-6-106, including the love and emotional ties between each parent and the child, each parent’s involvement in the child’s life, and the parent’s ability to provide a stable, nurturing environment.
Neither parent starts with an advantage in the statute.
Where the Gap Sometimes Comes From
Here is the honest part. (This is where I admit something that some fathers’ rights groups would prefer I did not say.)
Historical patterns exist. For decades, mothers were more often the primary caregiver, which meant they often had stronger claims under the continuity of care factors. Courts reflected those realities, not a bias against fathers.
That is changing. More fathers are primary caregivers. More parenting plans reflect shared time. Courts in Shelby County are awarding meaningful parenting time to fathers who show up and demonstrate involvement.
But here is what I tell every father who sits across from me: the court responds to evidence. What have you been doing? School pickups, doctor’s appointments, homework help, bedtime routines. If you have been there, document it. If you have not been there consistently, understand that the record matters.
What Actually Determines the Outcome
Preparation. Documentation. Demeanor in court. The quality of your attorney.
Fathers who walk in with a clear record of involvement, who present well, who do not let their anger about the divorce contaminate their presentation as a parent, win real parenting time in Memphis courts. Regularly.
Fathers who walk in convinced the system is rigged and act accordingly tend to confirm that bias in the eyes of the people watching.
That is not fair. It is also not inaccurate.
Lawyer Bill’s Advice
The law is on your side. It says so in writing.
What matters is what you can prove.
Be the parent you want the judge to see. Every day, not just when a hearing is coming.
Document your involvement. Show up for the ordinary things.
Happy Father’s Day.
If you have questions, reach out at midsouthdivorce.com/ask-lawyer-bill/.
About the Author: William W. Jones IV is a Memphis family law attorney, Rule 31 Listed Family Mediator, and Super Lawyers selectee every consecutive year from 2014 through 2025. Licensed in Tennessee (BPR 022869) and Mississippi (BPR 100707), he practices at The Jones Law Firm, 5100 Poplar Ave, Suite 708, Memphis, TN 38137. Call (901) 761-5353 or visit midsouthdivorce.com.
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