After the Divorce Is Final: What Still Has to Happen

From The Mid-South Divorce Guide, chapter 35, by William W. Jones
IV, a Memphis family law attorney and Rule 31 Listed Family Mediator
licensed in Tennessee and Mississippi. This guide covers Shelby, Tipton
and Fayette Counties in Tennessee and DeSoto, Tate and Tunica Counties
in Mississippi.

Questions this page answers

• What do I do after my divorce is final?
• Do I need to change my will after divorce?
• How do I change my name after a divorce?
• What happens if I forget the QDRO?

The decree is entered. You are divorced. You are not done.

This is the chapter people skip and then call me about in three
years. Work through this list in the first ninety days.

The paperwork that
transfers things

Deeds. If real estate changed hands, somebody has to
prepare and record a deed. Confirm it was recorded. Get a copy.

Vehicle titles. Signed over and transferred at the
county clerk.

Refinances. If somebody was supposed to refinance a
mortgage or a car loan, calendar the deadline and confirm it happened.
Remember Chapter 14. The deed
and the note are different documents.

QDROs. Retirement division requires a separate
order. Confirm it was drafted, entered, sent to the plan administrator,
accepted, and implemented. Then confirm again with the plan itself. This
is the most commonly dropped ball in the entire post-divorce world and
the consequences show up decades later.

Account separation. Close joint accounts. Remove
authorized users. Open your own.

The paperwork nobody tells
you about

Beneficiary designations. Life insurance, retirement
accounts, IRAs, annuities, payable on death accounts, HSAs.

Understand this clearly. Your divorce decree does
not automatically change a beneficiary designation on a
retirement account governed by federal law. If your ex-spouse is still
named on your 401(k) and you die, there is a very real chance your
ex-spouse receives it, whatever your decree or your will says. This has
produced a lot of litigation and a lot of furious second spouses.

Change every designation. Then get written confirmation from each
institution. Do not assume the phone call worked.

Your will. Divorce affects some provisions in favor
of a former spouse by statute, but relying on partial statutory fixes is
not an estate plan. Make a new will. If you have minor children, name a
guardian, and think hard about whether you want assets going to a minor
outright or into a trust.

Powers of attorney and health care directives. If
your ex-spouse holds your financial power of attorney or your health
care power of attorney, revoke it and execute new documents. Today.

Insurance. New health coverage per Chapter 20. Auto and
homeowner’s policies split. Life insurance in place if the decree
requires it, with proof of coverage.

Name change

If your decree restored a former name, you have to actually do it.
Social Security first, then the driver’s license, then passport, then
banks, then employer, then everything else. Get certified copies of your
decree from the clerk. Get more than you think you need.

Taxes

Talk to a CPA before the first post-divorce filing. Filing status,
who claims the children, Form 8332, the treatment of any support, and
the basis of anything you received. See Chapter 19.

Co-parenting

Set up a communication method and stick to it. Many people use a
co-parenting app that keeps a permanent record, which is useful both for
keeping things civil and for documentation if things go sideways.

Calendar everything from the parenting plan. Holidays, breaks, notice
deadlines for summer vacation selection, exchange times. Put it in a
shared calendar so nobody has to reconstruct the plan every
December.

Follow the plan exactly for the first year, even when you both would
rather be flexible. Establishing that both of you honor the order builds
the trust that lets you be flexible later.

If something goes wrong

Modification of support requires a significant
variance, covered in Chapter
23. Modification of a parenting plan requires a material change in
circumstances, covered in Chapter 27.
Enforcement runs through contempt, covered in Chapter 24, and
section 36-5-103(c) allows fee awards to the prevailing party.

Here is the part that decides these cases. Courts fix patterns and
they are slow to do much about incidents, so your job after an order is
entered is to build a record that shows which one you have got. Write
down every exchange that does not happen the way the plan says, with the
date and what was said. Move your communications into writing so the
record makes itself. Then bring me twelve entries instead of one story,
because twelve entries is a case and one story is a bad Tuesday.

And the part that is not
legal advice

The people who do best after a divorce are the ones who stop
relitigating it in their heads.

That takes time and it is not the same timeline for everybody. But at
some point the case is over, and the question stops being who was right
and starts being what you are building. I have had clients come back
years later to do a will or close on a house, and the ones who are doing
well are almost never the ones who won the most. They are the ones who
moved on the soonest.

Nobody rules on that part. There is no order anywhere that sets the
date you are finished being divorced. You set it, and most people set it
a good deal later than they had to.

Download the whole guide. All 35 chapters plus four blank client forms, complimentary, no email required. Download The Mid-South Divorce Guide (PDF)

Questions about your own situation? The Jones Law Firm, 5100 Poplar Ave, Suite 708, Memphis, TN 38137. Call (901) 761-5353.