She was supposed to drop the kids off at six. It was seven-thirty. No call. No text. Just… nothing.

He sat in his car in the parking lot of the agreed exchange location, getting angrier by the minute. When she finally showed up, no explanation, no apology; he said some things he would later regret.

I heard about it the next morning when he called to ask if he could file something.

I have written before about contempt of court. This is a variation on that theme, focused specifically on parenting plan violations, because they are their own category of frustration.

The parenting plan is a court order. When your ex does not follow it, they are not just being difficult. They are violating an order of the court. Tennessee law gives you tools to address that. The question is when to use them and how.

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Document First

Before you do anything else, document what is happening. Dates. Times. What was supposed to occur per the plan. What actually occurred. Texts or emails between you and your ex about the situation, if any.

Courts do not respond well to general complaints. They respond to specific, documented incidents. The parent who walks into Shelby County Chancery Court with a log of twenty parenting time violations over six months is in a very different position than the one who walks in and says “my ex never follows the plan.”

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Try to Resolve It First

I know that can feel counterintuitive when you are already frustrated. But courts expect parties to make reasonable efforts to resolve disputes before filing. A documented attempt to resolve the issue, even an unsuccessful one, strengthens your position.

A text message saying “I am expecting you to drop the kids off at 6 as scheduled” is documentation. So is a voicemail. Keep copies of everything. (I have built entire cases on text message threads.)

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Filing a Contempt Petition

If violations are repeated, documented, and willful, a contempt petition is the right tool. You file in the court that entered the parenting plan. You show the court the order, show the violations, and ask for enforcement.

Remedies for contempt of a parenting order include makeup parenting time, modification of the plan to address the recurring problem, attorney’s fees, fines, and in serious cases, a change in custody.

Courts take parenting plan violations seriously because the research on the effects of parental conflict on children is overwhelming. A parent who consistently disrupts the other parent’s relationship with the child is not helping their position in any future custody proceeding.

Lawyer Bill’s Advice

You have a court order. Use it.

But use it strategically, not emotionally.

Document the pattern. Try to resolve it. Then, if nothing changes, bring it to court.

Judges notice the parent who came prepared. They also notice the parent who is there every three months over every minor disagreement.

Know the difference.

If you have questions, reach out at midsouthdivorce.com/ask-lawyer-bill/.

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About the Author: William W. Jones IV is a Memphis family law attorney, Rule 31 Listed Family Mediator, and Super Lawyers selectee every consecutive year from 2014 through 2025. Licensed in Tennessee (BPR 022869) and Mississippi (BPR 100707), he practices at The Jones Law Firm, 5100 Poplar Ave, Suite 708, Memphis, TN 38137. Call (901) 761-5353 or visit midsouthdivorce.com.