Somewhere between your kid’s first day of kindergarten and their first day of high school, the internet turned into a minefield. Now, your child’s friends are posting senior pics, prom shots, and game-day highlights, and there you are… staring at your phone, wondering if you should “like” it, comment, or just keep scrolling.

Here’s the thing: teens live in a completely different social media universe than adults. The jokes, captions, and photos that seem perfectly fine to their peers can take on a whole new (and awkward) meaning if a parent reacts the wrong way. That awkwardness is what they call “the ick.” And once you give someone the ick, you do not get a do-over.

So let’s set some unofficial ground rules.

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1. Don’t Make the First Move

If your teen’s friends want you in their online circle, they will send you a friend request. Otherwise, leave it alone. It is not about being unfriendly. It is about respecting boundaries. Think of it like walking up to a table of teenagers in the cafeteria. They might smile, they might even wave, but they did not necessarily want you to sit down. Social media works the same way.

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2. Accept but Keep Your Distance

If you do accept a request, consider unfollowing them right away. This is not about hiding from them. It is about avoiding a situation where you see every post, every joke, and every trend you do not understand. The less temptation you have to comment or question what they post, the fewer chances you have to create awkwardness.

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3. Keep Comments Boring on Purpose

This is the hill I will die on: “Congrats!” “Great game!” “Happy birthday!” are perfect. They are safe, supportive, and exactly the kind of parent energy that does not make a teenager cringe. Avoid inside jokes, nicknames from childhood, or personal comments about their appearance. Even if you mean it as a compliment, a teen’s peer group may read it differently.

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4. Don’t Hijack Their Moment

If a teen posts about their big win, their new job, or their college acceptance, keep the spotlight on them. Resist the urge to turn their post into a story about how you coached them in t-ball or how you “always knew they’d be great.” This is their achievement, not a chance for you to write your own chapter in their comment section.

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5. Think Before You Tag

If you post a group shot from an event that includes your teen’s friends, ask your own child first whether tagging is a good idea. They have a much better read on who is fine with being tagged and who would rather not have that picture floating around. This way, you are respecting boundaries without having to contact someone else’s kid directly.

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6. Remember Digital Tattoos

Everything you post, comment, or tag leaves a mark. Once it is out there, it is nearly impossible to erase. That “funny” remark could live forever in screenshots, old group chats, or search results. Before you post, ask yourself if you would be comfortable with that comment or photo being tied to your name for years to come. Because in the online world, that is exactly what happens — your words and pictures become a permanent part of your digital tattoo.

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Lawyer Bill’s Advice

Parents, social media is tricky ground when it comes to your kids’ friends. You are not just managing your own reputation, you are shaping how your teen’s peers and their parents see your family. One off-key comment or poorly timed post can ripple further than you realize. Keep it respectful, keep it simple, and remember: your teen’s friends already have parents. They are not looking for another one online. Play it cool, and you will avoid the ick every time.