I keep a folder in my office of parenting plans I wish I had written. Not because they are beautifully drafted (though some are). Because they actually work.

The other folder is thicker.

That one is full of plans where someone thought “we’ll figure it out as we go” was a good approach to raising children across two households. Spoiler: it was not. Those clients come back. Usually angrier and broker than when they left.

The difference between a parenting plan that holds and one that falls apart is not always obvious at signing. It becomes obvious the first time there is a disagreement and one parent says the plan covers it and the other says it does not.

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What Tennessee Requires

Tennessee law requires a permanent parenting plan in every divorce or custody case involving minor children. The plan has to address residential time, decision-making authority, child support, and how disputes will be resolved.

The state has a standard form. Courts use it. But filling in the form is not the same as doing the work. (I have seen forms filled out in the courthouse parking lot. You can tell.)

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The Issues That Come Back to Haunt People

School selection. Which school the child attends can be one of the most contentious post-divorce decisions there is. In Shelby County, where school district lines matter enormously and the private school landscape is complicated, this is not abstract. If the plan does not specify who decides, or how a disagreement gets resolved, you are going to fight about it.

Medical decision-making. Routine care is usually straightforward. But what about elective procedures? Mental health treatment? Medication decisions? Plans that say only that parents will share joint decision-making without addressing disagreements create problems.

Holiday and vacation schedules. Alternating holidays sounds simple until you realize that Easter sometimes falls on spring break and nobody thought to address that. I, Bill Jones, have litigated exactly this issue more than once. Specificity saves arguments.

Notification requirements. How much notice does a parent give before taking the child out of state? Out of town? These feel minor at drafting and feel enormous when they come up.

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The Modification Trap

A vague plan is not just inconvenient. It is expensive. Every ambiguity is a potential dispute. Every dispute is a potential motion. Every motion costs money and goodwill and takes a toll on the children watching their parents fight about a document that was supposed to end the fighting.

Draft it right the first time. Your future self will thank you.

Trust me on this one.

Lawyer Bill’s Advice

Your parenting plan is a contract you will live under for years.

Treat it like one.

Vague language feels like compromise at signing and feels like a trap six months later.

Put in the specifics. Holiday by holiday. Decision by decision.

The goal is a document you never have to come back and argue about.

If you have questions, reach out at midsouthdivorce.com/ask-lawyer-bill/.

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About the Author: William W. Jones IV is a Memphis family law attorney, Rule 31 Listed Family Mediator, and Super Lawyers selectee every consecutive year from 2014 through 2025. Licensed in Tennessee (BPR 022869) and Mississippi (BPR 100707), he practices at The Jones Law Firm, 5100 Poplar Ave, Suite 708, Memphis, TN 38137. Call (901) 761-5353 or visit midsouthdivorce.com.